Mom, Advice, Brené Brown & Teddy Roosevelt

Can you give and receive the same advice?

At the last minute, I flew to Colorado last week to help my parents following my Mom’s complex surgery on Tuesday. The surgeon said it “went perfectly” but also told her that she would “feel like S%$!” for several days and it would take up to 10 weeks to recover fully. Although I’m a product of both of my parents from my Mom, I inherited boundless energy and a desire to be constantly “doing good works.” She ventured East several times during my treatment to help when I was supposed to recover and “taking it easy.” Returning the kindness was an easy decision.

I remember telling her:

I hate feeling like this.
I hate not having the energy I usually do.
I hate not being able to do what I typically do.
I don’t feel like doing anything.

And I distinctly remember her advice: “You must be patient with yourself and allow yourself to heal.”

Wouldn’t you know that just over 48 hours after her surgery, she was saying these same things to me? I looked over at her: lying on the couch, struggling to get comfortable and still on oxygen. “Mom, do you remember what you told me when I had these feelings?”

I told her: “Mom, You must be patient with yourself and allow yourself to heal.”

The Harvard Business Review has a lengthy article on “The Art of Giving and Receiving Advice” worth reading. They outlined that “it’s harder than it looks” because people often choose the wrong advisors, offer self-centered advice, overstep boundaries or think they already have the answers. Most importantly, they note that the best advice is not just about the content but how it’s given. How do you give advice? And, when it comes time, can you receive the same advice you’ve given?

 Skilled advising is more than the dispensing and accepting of wisdom; it’s a creative, collaborative process—a matter of striving, on both sides, to understand problems better and craft promising paths forward. And that often requires an ongoing conversation.

– David A. Garvin
The Best 60 Seconds of Advice I Heard This Week
How Theodore Roosevelt Changed Brené Brown’s Life“Three huge things. First – That quote was everything I knew about vulnerability. It is not about winning, It is not about losing. It’s about showing up and being seen. Second – This is who I want to be. I want to create. I want to make things that didn’t exist before I touched them. I want to show up and be seen in my work and my life and if you’re going to show up and be seen, there is only one guarantee: You will get your ass kicked. The third thing, which really set me free, and is kind of new philosophy about criticism, If you’re not in the arena, also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.”– Brené Brown on Teddy Roosevelt’s famous “Man In The Arena” quoteWatch the full 15 minutes here.
“You Can Conquer It” Earlybird registration is OPEN!

We all face challenges. What if you could learn to conquer them rather than just survive them? Join me on Saturday, June 3, for a VIRTUAL workshop featuring 14 Challenged Athletes as they share their stories and strategies of resilience.

Tickets start at $100, and 100% of your registration fee goes to Challenged Athletes Foundation.
Can’t make it? Sign up and receive the complete recording.

Sign up before Friday, May 5th, and receive some CAF swag!
We’ve got shirts, hats, socks, jackets and more and it will go FAST! Don’t miss out. Register TODAY!